looking backwards, moving forward

The beauty of the blog is it's a time machine that lets you peek at your past and remember the good times and of course, reminds you of the not so great times.

At this exact moment last year, I had just started talking to Dave. We were in my favorite part, the beginning, before it started getting complicated and when every communication was exciting and new.

Today was also the day that Ben had his stroke. I was driving up to Del Mar Fair with Amparo and Rich when Phil called me saying Ben was in the ICU. We went to the fair anyway, watched fireworks and then I ended up driving down south to meet up with Phil, crying and praying for Ben's life to be saved somehow.

I didn't know what was going to happen with my job. There was a slim chance it would be saved even.

Fast forward to now. I have a completely different job which could either make me rich(or at least bring me back to normal) or lead to another year of struggling to make ends meet.

Ben is perfectly fine. I hate to say this, but the stroke kind of fixed a lot of things in his life. He is finally taking care of himself, he has a relationship with his mother again and he has actually made goals to improve his life.

There is no more Dave and really no one with boyfriend or even dating potential in my life right now. Brian and I were supposed to hang out while I was in DC last week, but it didn't work out since I had such an early flight and no way to get to NY as I had planned originally. He called me to say goodbye this morning. My constant crush is now headed back to Thailand where he'll probably be for awhile since he actually has job offers there. He invited me to come and stay with him whenever I wanted, but that will have to wait for when I have a steady income, time off and a passport.

Nothing is the same. If I were to compare and contrast 2008 and 2009, they would have nothing in common. Well, except that I thankfully still have my friends and family intact. And with that kind of safety net, all I have to do is cross this tightrope to the next part of this adventure...