9 posts tagged “boys”
My cousin Missy has had a hell of a year. Take what I've gone through and multiply it by a hundred times more pain and that's what she's been through. I mean, out of all the cousins, she was the closest to our grandpa. She spent the most time at his side through all of his hospital visits not only because she could, but because she really wanted to. It took her the longest to cry in front of him because she wanted to be strong for him. When Kara died, I was sad because she was a sweetheart and family, but to Missy she was her best friend, soul sister and true kindred spirit. Missy's car and laptop got stolen at Plaza Bonita this year while she was at the movies. She has been looking for a job for about 18 months already and everyone has told her she was either overqualified or underqualified. Then, to top it all off, her family's been in some legal trouble and they lost their house a month ago. Her mom's business had to close down and her dad just started his new job last month. He had gotten laid off back in March, when my grandpa was sick. But despite all of this, she's still smiling and surviving...
So Kristy and I decided that the best thing to do was to throw her a surprise birthday party at her favorite place-Chuck E. Cheese! Most of the cousins made it and we had a fantastic time. It's always nice to get to be a kid again...
Oh, and we went out drinking with her friends that Friday night too. This was the first time our little cousin Diana (ok, she's 21!) went out with us so she got to hear all of our old drinking stories, take her first shot, learn how to order a drink at a bar and party with the "big kids".
An added bonus...my friend Vanessa had a cocktail reception (aka open bar with yummy appetizers) at the Marriott for her 30th and I met a cute Wentworth Miller lookalike who was a good dancer, her best guy friend and single =D She asked if she could set us up, and for the first time ever, I agreed. All I know so far is that he's Mormon and lives in San Diego...we'll see how this goes =D
You know how they say expect the best but prepare for the worst? I'm glad I actually followed through on that this time. I was hoping he'd say pause. The conversation got away from me. I couldn't read him over the phone like I usually can. I couldn't tell if this was a renegotiation or an end of business. He said we had moved too fast and he wasn't ready for what I wanted. He said he didn't want to let me down all the time or have me waiting around for him or expecting things he couldn't give me. He said I deserved more than what he could give me. He didn't want to give me false hopes that this would be more. He wanted to still be able to hang out when he could. I told him I couldn't be his friend. That I liked him and I couldn't put that aside right now. I asked if this was a pause or a stop. He was flustered. I think he said stop, but I can't even remember now. It was a blur. When I first picked up the phone, it seemed like old times. He didn't want to talk about it over the phone. He wanted to do it in person, but didn't have the time.
If he hadn't done it today, I might have done it next week. I had thought about it already on Saturday night.
Since I am one who needs closure, I texted him a nicer goodbye than the "have a good life" I told him on the phone. I apologized for being meaner than I wanted to be and thanked him for the good times.
I am ok.
I will feel better.
Every wrong one is just a step closer to the right one.
I have faith that this too, happened for a good reason.
So this past Friday was one of the worst days I've had in a while. And I was so stressed out and nuts and Tony could tell so he offered to reschedule our date till I felt better. When I finally got home and calmed down from my dilemmas, he came over. I didn't get to make him dinner like we had planned so we went to grab some Jack in the Box instead. Who would have thought that tacos, chicken sandwiches and wine would have been just as good as a homemade meal? Not me, but somehow it was.
The feeling that this could all go away any minute is dissolving. My insecurity about boys sticking around is still here, but it's getting less as I spend more time with Tony. And even though he has three jobs and I had to work all weekend as well, we still found time to be with each other both Friday and Saturday and that's what counts.
Dear Emma of the future (specifically tomorrow when Tony comes over for the first time),
I hope you're remembering to enjoy every moment of "the beginning" with Tony and NOT thinking that this is going to end abruptly with no other explanation than he was abducted by aliens like that last guy. Please stop worrying that every phone call will be the last one or that something you say or do will somehow trigger a Dave-like reaction. Because Tony is a completely different person and deserves a clean slate.
This guy really likes you and it's not your imagination. If he didn't like you, then why would he call you every day to see how your day went and to tell you good night? Why is he trying to find time for you every day even though he has 3 jobs, a sick dad and a sister to take care of? This guy ditched work for you to take you to lunch since you'd had a bad night and is basically at your beck and call. He held your hand after two hours and it took some of the guys you dated before weeks to be that comfortable and affectionate with you. He has told you that you're beautiful and smart and funny and sweet tons of times already and I think he means it.
Oh yeah, and this guy is really nice. And you need to be nicer to him. Like when he asks for your address, you don't say things like, "why, are you going to stalk me?" in your snarky, sarcastic way. And when his response is something sweet like "to send you flowers", you don't need to second guess his sincerity, just accept it already. I know you thought that someone this close to The Dream didn't exist (besides Scotty!) but it really could be possible that this one could last awhile. I mean, you have plans with him (that involve tickets to the Padres and Chargers!) for the next month almost. Plus he offered your friends and sister discounted tires and offered you a copy machine and an office to make your job easier. This is the kind of guy you deserve. This is the kind of guy you want to stick around.
Stop being scared when he talks about your future children after knowing you only a week or tries to take care of you all the time.He deserves a great girl and that's what you are (most of the time). Everyone else has a good feeling about all of this and you do too, but for some reason you still think it's too good to be true. And maybe in the end, that's what it will turn out to be. But then again, maybe there really is a happily ever after out there...
Love,
Emma of 18 hours before your weekend together
First of all, my new job is getting really intense. I went home this weekend for family time with our new cousin and his family and of course, everyone else, only to get home at 7pm on Sunday and work on a project until 5:30am monday morning. Since I'm the only teacher, there are lots of things that only I can do so it kinda doubles or triples my workload. But let's get to the boyfriend part...
No, Tony is not my boyfriend. We've known each other a week and gone out twice. But as I was staying up late working on sunday, he called me and kept me company for a few hours as I worked. Yesterday, I went up to his tire shop to have lunch with him (since I was wiped out from staying up, my boss told me to take the day off) and it lasted 7 hours. We went to this tiny mom and pop Mexican place that he always goes to and they like him so much that we got our lunch for free. And then after we went to the movies (saw GI Joe and half of Hangover), we had dinner there again. One of the best ways to get a real picture of someone is when you see how they interact with others. These people love Tony so much, it made me like him just a little bit more. And when his employee locked his keys in the shop and we left the movie halfway through to help him, I liked him a little bit more. And then when he offered to fix my radio (but I had too much stuff in my trunk) I liked him even more.
He's the kind of guy who tells me to call him to make sure I got home okay. He wants to buy me a bluetooth thing that I'll actually use so I can focus on driving when we talk on the phone. He offered to come with me to Palm Springs next week since I have to do a training there and would have to drive by myself most likely. He's talking about Thanksgiving plans and offering my friends discounts on tires even though he just took over the shop. We're always holding hands or some equally cheesy coupley thing. And I don't have that back off feeling I tend to get when guys try to get too close.
This is usually when I start feeling trapped or like he's too into me or something equally sabotaging. When I wanted to go home after dinner to work, he had this sad look but he understood and kissed me goodbye instead of whining about it and called me later instead. Old Emma freaks out a little still at every hint of future talk or spending more time together but I'm getting over it. I wanna keep this one around for awhile...
I have been on more first dates than I can count off the top of my head. Not so many second dates and very few third dates. I wasn't sure about Tony because it took him 5 days to call me but when I teased him about that, he said he wanted to but was gestating the idea because he was kinda intimidated by me. Really? Little old me? Yeah,I can see that. I'm confident and bold and talk a hell of a lot to anyone and everyone. That freaks people out sometimes and I realize that I do come off a little strong.
But even though I semi-manipulated the situation (picked the restaurant and time and actually said, "So are you calling me to ask me out?") he called me on it and took control of the rest of the night.
It went really well. He held my hand and I liked it. We couldn't tell who had sweaty palms at first because we both had sweaty palms. He offered me the shirt off his back (literally!) because I was cold. The waitress knew we were on a date because he got there first and when she offered to get him a drink he said he didn't want to be rude and order without me and he was really nice to her even though she got him the wrong food and shortchanged him. He did the whole walk on the outside of me and let me enter a room first kind of stuff that I really do appreciate even though I always second guess it. We talked forever and it wasn't boring and I feel like there's still so much I want to know about him.
Since Nancy and his friend Sal are ultra intrigued by us dating and want to "chaperone" our second date, we have a secret plan to get a few more dates in secretly and take them on our fifth or sixth date. And this was not my idea, it was his. He's a youth minister! I'm adding the exclamation point because he might actually be more of a do-gooder than me because he volunteers to do that at his old parish. I was wrong about the living with the parents part because his dad needed a place to live (he's sick and retired) and he let him move in.
I was afraid that his niceness would be like vanilla to me, nice, but not my thing. But it wasn't. It was honestly, kind of sweet and really genuine. He said I looked absolutely beautiful without makeup (I made some remark about not having makeup on or my hair even being brushed because I was running late) and he meant it. Sigh. I like him already.
We're going out again next week. Nothing set in stone, but I'm excited =D I love this part!
So Tony called me today and asked me out. I'm going home this weekend so we're going to have dinner and hang out at L.A. Live tomorrow night. I'm gonna get all my craziness out of the way now so I can attempt to be normal tomorrow.
Michael used to say I would sabotage relationships before they even happened by finding things that were dealbreakers or judging too soon or acting weird. In other words, what I considered being picky or having standards meant that I never gave guys a chance to him. And he's right because I am guilty of all of those things. But I've gotten a lot better about being open minded and that has been both good and bad. Mostly good though.
Here's what I know about Tony so far that could lead me to "sabotage" this before anything even starts. He's proposed to someone and she said no then married her best guy friend. So he's been really hurt but has also really been in love and ready to commit. I don't know which one of those is scarier to me. His friend says he's a really good guy but that he just has bad luck with women yet also said that he didn't think I would say yes to him. Oh yeah, and I don't even really really know what he looks like cuz we sat in the dark corner of the party most of the time.
Also, he's super nice. Like offered to get my radio fixed or hook up friends with free tires (I'll keep that in mind, Sher) or give my company office space in his building for a discount nice. Also, volunteer work, youth groups, charter school board member nice. I fear that he will be Brandon level too nice to date but so nice we have to be friends forever.
But there are lots of pluses too and that's really what freaks me out. Maybe that's what makes him similar to Dave in my mind. It almost seems too good to be true, all over again. But he definitely has advantages over him and the other guys I've dated. Like he owns his own business, has many interests and activities going on. He doesn't live too far away or too close (in case things go awry) and doesn't live with his parents either. He's 30 and picked up on my swingers reference right away. He likes sports, particularly the Angels and not the Dodgers. He likes the 49ers instead of the Raiders, but I think he could be swayed towards the Chargers a little. He has friends from high school that he's still friends with and he's a talker, but also entertained by my constant talking.
Reading over this makes me feel like I'm nuts. But I had to put it out there. No backing down now...Goonies never say die! =D
First off, the people at our table for the wedding consisted of me and Nancy for about an hour and a half till the librarian and her husband showed. The nurse and her husband never came and neither did the Alicia Jimenez family. As you can see, there were zero single guys at our table. The one person that both Nancy and I looked at twice had a girlfriend. So we left after dinner and 30 minutes of dancing to go to another party.
Let me preface this by saying that it was Nancy's friend Sal's 30th birthday party that same night and I wasn't looking forward to going to that either. It's always a little weird to show up at a party where you've only met the birthday celebrant once and that was at Wolverine's midnight showing. Since then, this Sal has invited me to field level Dodger seats (I said hell no to that one), movies, etc all through Nancy. I was fully expecting some Nancy like matchmaking to happen. And of course, she tried by making me dance with him and having me sit next to him and such. He was super nice, a good dancer and fairly attractive, but no spark.
Yes, I'm judgemental, but it's there or it's not, that's all. Imagine my surprise (and Nancy's!) when I started paying less attention to Sal and his attention turned to her. We were just hanging out when this guy comes over and he seems oddly familiar. Turns out he's Sal's high school friend named Tony. It was really dark in the backyard so it was hard to tell what he really looked like, but he was tall, had glasses, clean cut and dressed preppy. What freaked me out was his voice and mannerisms were kinda like Dave's. Except that he was Mexican (but really a huero) and liked sports. Which sounds like a good fit for me right?
He was really interesting and we spent a lot of the night talking and getting to know each other until his semi drunk friend came over and started talking about the Chargers and how he'd been a fan since 1995 and didn't like bandwagoners blah blah blah. At one point, Tony asked me for my contact info for his friend who was an ex-teacher. While all of this was going on, I was being a bad sister and not realizing that Sal was groping Nancy and she was ready to go. Eventually we got out to my car but both Sal and Tony walked out there with us.
Now this should be the point where I say Nancy and I arranged a double date with them for this weekend or some other corny shit like that. But no, we decided on an improved signaling system to keep boys away from us more efficiently instead. Sal was too much like her brother and Tony was too much like Dave.Sal also thinks I'm too cool for Tony and that he'd find someone better for me.
And this is why Nancy and Emma are the single girls even though everyone thinks we're cute, fun, charming girls who deserve boyfriends but apparently are way too picky for our own good.
"i'm on a plane take a looka me/ straight flyin on a plane to WashingtonDC/ VirginAmerica 30000 feet/ you can't stop me & the wifi at my seat" -Scotty Crowe (twitter) posted this Friday-yeah, he loves soulja boy. It's only semi-excusable since he's from the South.
So he's going to DC a week before me?? Ok, I'm not flying on Virgin America this time, but it's still weird, right?
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Had to put the divider line there so I didn't have to waste a whole post on my Scotty stalking.
So anyway, I've been keeping a low profile lately, aka avoiding expensive drinking binges with my still employed teacher friends.
Yesterday, my friend Cindy invited me to a family party at her house. Since I was literally down the street at Nancy's house planning our school carnival all day, it was quite convenient so I was totally up for it. I like hanging out with her family, even if they're Dodgers/Raiders/Mets fans, they're nice people with great food and free booze. But then I had to meet up with Phil and Christine to pick up something that Missy sent me with Phil so I had to drive way the hell out of the way and almost went home to watch TV and catch up with my work instead.
But my gut said I should go, so even as tired and stressed as I was, I went.
Then I realized that Cindy had sorta set me up. But the cool thing was...I kinda liked the guy =)
I mean, I definitely didn't have my A game on, but I was still pretty friendly and found out what I wanted to know about him. As in, he's 26-27 (I've dated younger), is an engineer that graduated from UCLA(physics major) and lives in Lakewood(ten minutes away from me) with roommates, and is single, funny, cute and has an ex-girlfriend who's a teacher and a sister who teaches at Cindy's school.
Old Emma would not have left that party without his number. New Emma has decided that if he is interested, he knows how to get my number (from Cindy).
It's been a while since I've met anyone who was cool enough to talk to for most of a party or who intrigued me enough to make me friendly when I could have been talking with my other friends. I will admit he reminded me of Sam a little bit and fit my generic tall, skinny, smart, sarcastic, good with kids, dimple and nice teeth "type" so that was a lot of it.
The one minus is that Cindy kinda had a crush on him for a little bit in December when they first met. I don't know what's up with them now but Cindy told him to come so he could meet me. I guess he asked Cindy if there were going to be any single girls there and she said I would be there and that I was a cool one.
If anything, it was nice to have another single person around in a world of couples and to meet someone new who I'd actually want to hang out with again...
