2 posts tagged “notes to self”

You might have heard me discuss this guy, David Morales a little bit. He seems to pop in and out of our social circle every once in a while, mostly in scandalous matters. David isn't super hot, in fact, he's pretty much average. But what he's got going for him is this crazy confidence and charm that has made many women swoon. Seriously, I personally know at least eight women who have had some sort of crush or something on this guy. And whereas I've never had a crush on him exactly, he's always been super flirty with me and when I'm being bad (ok, tipsy) Emma, I am usually flirty back. We made out just once, but in a photo booth so there are photos somewhere in this universe of us kissing, but knowing David, they've probably just disappeared. He told me he was really attracted to me once (though his best friend Danny had just asked me for my number a few hours before) a week after the makeout photo booth session and said we should go out. Of course, I rejected that offer since I had this crazy instant connection with his best friend and really would never date David, even back then in the open minded era. I never actually went out with Danny but that was probably somehow related to me rejecting David. Whatever. But the good thing about David is he's always pretty fun and definitely interesting. Plus, he has a lot of guy friends, such as the best friend who I really clicked with and who I randomly run into every now and then.

Anyway, after being tricked into living with his girlfriend (and I quote, "Guess what? I tricked David into living with me!") then breaking up with her this past December, she got pregnant and so they eloped a few weeks ago. And, surprise, surprise, he hates it. In fact,what was he doing while his pregnant bride was at home? He spent this afternoon with me and Cindy talking about how he can't even bring himself to wear the ring on a daily basis, how he will always feel like a tenant living in her house and how married life just kinda sucks. When asked if he could be anywhere in the world right now, he answered, "Someone else's bed". And then he went off to drink and play golf with his guy friends.

This is not a shock by any means. He and this girl have known each other since high school where she probably had a crush on him and ten years later, she got him to move in, got knocked up and married the guy. But at what cost? This has disaster written all over it. And I get that he was trying to do the right thing, in fact, I commended him for being a good guy about it all. I hope for her sake, his sake, her son (from another guy) and their future baby, it all works out.

But wow, it definitely made me feel a hell of a lot better that my Friday night involved watching the presidential debate, hanging out with friends, drinking wine, eating buffalo wings and getting home in time to watch Pro Football Preview. I love that I can do whatever the hell I want, with whoever I want for as long as I feel like it. The best thing about being single is that even if none of the fish are biting at the moment, there are always plenty of them swimming around out there and we can pick whoever we want.   

When he asked me why I was 30 and single, the real answer should have been, "Because I haven't met anyone who would be worth fitting into my life, which is already full of family and friends who care about me and love me."

In a sense, I have always had the majority of my needs and wants met, so it never felt like anything was missing. And I could probably fill up the rest of my life and live happily ever after without a boyfriend/husband or whatever. When my weekend was suddenly free because he was sick, it was filled up with plans with various friends and that was all within minutes.

When he didn't call all week, I needed to hear Chad tell me that I was too wonderful to not get a call back. I needed Cindy to tell me that the only acceptable reason for him to not call me back was that he dropped dead. I needed Christina to tell me to hang in there and that he must have been abducted by aliens. I needed Sher to spend the entire weekend with me, talking about it till I didn't want to talk about it anymore. I needed Ben and Phil to ignore the whole situation and treat me like a princess and to remind me that there are good guys out there.I needed Amparo to bake me cookies and tell me the next one would be even better. Tomorrow, I am going to a sports bar with Cindy and Porfi to watch the Chargers game and check out guys who actually like sports.

And this is what I got, because I'm lucky enough to have amazing friends who understand what I need without me having to say a word.

Tomorrow is another day. I know I won't need a man to make me happy, because I've already come this far without one and had a fantastic time. But the best thing about being single is that there's always the freedom to find someone and the hope that the next one will be the one that was worth the wait...